Finding JOY in the JOurneY:  Ending the Cycle of Shame
and the Need for External Validation 

By Dr. Michael Obsatz – June 2024

How do we find JOY in the JOurneY?  Let’s see.

Shame is a feeling of worthlessness, and not being enough, not measuring up, failure, being a mistake.  Guilt is “I made a mistake.”  Shame is “I am a mistake.”

Seeing oneself as invisible, invalid, and incomplete are signs of shame. In Empire Consciousness, there is a need for validation that must come from others.  It is other-focused.  A person must be “good enough” in the eyes of a parent, relative, teacher, boss, supervisor, friend, or stranger.

This need for “external” validation creates a hole in one’s heart, and a never-ending need to prove oneself worthy.  It is co-dependent, and leads to all other addictions, denials and distractions.  It is a giving away of God-given power to be oneself and love one’s authentic self.

This quest for others’ approval of one’s worthiness is relentless and filled with fear, denial and deception.  Living as a false self fuels shame and self dis-respect. So, it is an endless cycle — feel shame, seek approval, become what others want one to become, etc.

Those who don’t conform to others’ expectations, rules, stereotypes are a threat to the Empire system.  There are penalties and consequences for not conforming to the Empire’s norms and values. Empire Consciousness is about power over, domination, hierarchy, competition, fear, scarcity and internal emptiness and powerlessness.

Oneness Conscious is about authenticity, love, compassion, abundance, love, empathy, equality and emotional connection.

Competitive sports always have winners and losers.  Awards go to winners, not losers.  Categories and labels reinforce differences and create definitions of who people are supposed to be.  Until we see the Divinity in the Diversity, we will continue to experience discrimination, marginalization, and divisions.  If we want world peace, we need to move from Empire Consciousness to Oneness Consciousness and discontinue focusing on differences of the “other.”

Self-love, love of Spirit, love of others, and love of all of creation requires an end of the need for external labels, definitions, categories, and external validation. Peace, love and joy are an INSIDE JOB.


© 2024, Dr. Michael Obsatz, all rights reserved, and

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