Mental Health, Addictions, and Self-Care Menu
We see so many people suffering from addictions, abuse, trauma, and grief. Learning self-care is one way to allow oneself to heal and create new beginnings. How do you take care of yourself? Self-compassion, self-love, engaging with others you trust, walking in nature, stillness, prayer, and mediation can be helpful for self-care.
From Self-Doubt to True Potential: How to Defeat Imposter Syndrome
by Gwen Payne
"The invisible walls of imposter syndrome can seriously impede career growth and personal development. This Life’s Journey article aims to empower you to fully capitalize on your talents by diving into practical steps for tackling this all-too-common psychological barrier..."
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The Rules of Shame Based Systems
by David J. Decker
"The following rules are common to all shame-based systems, both families and other types of organizations. All organizations have rules; having rules helps things run more smoothly. Unfortunately, the rules of shame-based systems and people are rigid, unrealistic, and destructive, and become the credo
by which members of the system strive to function..."
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The Gentle Art of Listening
by David J. Decker
"How often do you really listen to what other people are saying to you? How often do you
feel like others are really hearing what you are trying to say? Listening is an absolutely critical
skill in human relationships. Unfortunately, we often don’t listen very well, especially to the
people who are most important to us..."
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The Power of Self-Talk
by David J. Decker
"Almost every moment of your conscious life, you are engaging in self-talk, which is also called “automatic thoughts.” This is your internal thinking process. It is just like a continual dialogue with yourself. These are the words, phrases, and statements that you use to describe and interpret your world.
Self-talk literally creates your reality..."
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Why Are You Angry? Learn More
by David J. Decker and Dr. Michael Obsatz
"1 - Eight Types of Anger, 2 - Take the Anger Pre-Test, 3 - Take the Anger Index Self-Test, 4 -Consequences related to becoming punishing, explosive, and abusive - by David J. Decker and Dr. Michael Obsatz
Click HereOur Human Woundedness - How Do We Heal It?
by Dr. Michael Obsatz January 2023
"We realize that we were wounded by people who didn't know how to treat us. They couldn't love us because they weren't spiritually connected and didn't love themselves. Healing the wound is realizing the wound was never about you. It was about them, and their pain..."
Click Here4 Steps to Healing Fatigue for Parents of Special Needs Children
by Gwen Payne - August 2022
"This article lays out a concrete, step-by-step plan to help the parents of children with disabilities assess their fatigue and address the root causes of these issues in a sustainable way..."
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Cultivate Your Garden: Journeying Through Life With Few Expectations or Agendas
by Dr. Michael Obsatz - July 2022
"We travel through life from the time we are born until we die. We go many places, meet many people, and have a wide variety of experiences. Some of these experiences bring us joy, others bring us pain..."
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Thirst – God and the Alcoholic Experience
by James B. Nelson, book excerpts by David Tillman
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"“Spirituality is a response to her human sense of incompleteness – whatever form that response might take. Religion, on the other hand, is a communal expression of that response...
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The Quest for Maturity and Sobriety
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
I believe there is a crisis among many of America’s children. They live in a state of prolonged immaturity and self-aborption. Many of them are ignored, neglected, abused, and manipulated into becoming addicts."
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Paper on Alcoholics Anonymous
by David Tillman
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"Alcoholism is an unsanctioned illness in our culture. Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A) primary focus is to help alcoholics stop drinking and stay sober."
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Overcoming Shame Through Self-Love - video
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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Mike talks about what shame is, how shame develops, how shame affects people, types of shame, what we can do about it now, and how we change it.
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The Metaphysical Heart -- An Inside Job
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"Oneness Consciousness comes from the Metaphysical Heart. It is a pervasive awareness of the inter-connectedness of all of creation."
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Self-Compassion as a Spiritual Practice: I am Not the Mistakes that I Have Made
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"India Arie has recorded a beautiful song called "I am Light." One of the lines in the song is "I am not the mistakes I have made.... I am light.""
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Is Your Anger a Problem? (For You or Others)
by David J. Decker
"What we do with our anger is a pathway into the experience of being human. Everyone, male and female, gets angry from time to time. This can involve feeling annoyed, frustrated, irritated, aggravated, and sometimes even rageful. These emotional states are all on the continuum of anger..."
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The Anatomy of an Argument that Spins Out of Control
by David J. Decker
"Angry people are continually making choices, even though they may feel and look completely
“out of control” to themselves and those who happen to be around them at the time.The escalation to
more intense anger and to explosive and punishing behavior can be increased by simply reacting to the
situation.."
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TIME-OUTS: They’re Not Just For Kids!
by David J. Decker
"The time-out has been a staple of effective parenting for a long time. When kids are acting “out
of control” or reacting in ways that are not helpful to them or their parents, it has been a very helpful tool
to separate them from the situation, allow them to think about what has been going on, and then come
back to go through what happened in a more productive fashion..."
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Some Myths about Love, Intimacy, and Relationships
by David J. Decker
"Everyone has his or her own set of myths about intimate relationships that can come from both your
childhood experiences and the culture-at-large. These myths create unrealistic and unhealthy expectations
and core beliefs about relationships with partners..."
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Life is an Evolving Door
by Dr Michael Obsatz
August 2023
"Every day is a new beginning. Every day provides opportunities to give, love, share, grow, challenge, experience, and learn.
Seeing life this way means that we are evolving all the time. We change, gain wisdom, become older, and have new challenges. Never a dull moment..."
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Improving Yourself: A Comprehensive Guide to Self-Improvement
by Gwen Payne
"Are you looking to improve your life, but not sure where to start? The good news is that self-improvement doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. There are several simple steps you can take to improve your physical health, mental health, and overall well-being..."
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Key Ingredients in Creating and Maintaining a Healthy Relatationship with a Partner
by David J. Decker
"A healthy relationship with a partner can be a difficult proposition. It takes an investment of time, energy, and
emotion and a commitment to work at your relationship in an ongoing fashion. In reality, BOTH partners need to be
willing to make this a priority if it is actually going to happen..."
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Anger: A Normal and Natural Emotion: What It is and What It Isn't
by David J. Decker
"Just what is the feeling of anger that many of us experience so much of the time? When does it become something other than the normal and natural emotion that it is supposed to be?
Click HereA Conflict Resolution Model
by David J. Decker
SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT CONFLICT RESOLUTION: There is no guarantee that using the following model will necessarily lead to resolution of your conflict. This is especially true if you and the other person view each other as “enemies” and do not assume some good will in your relationship.
Click HereUnderstanding Your Shame
by David J. Decker
"The first step in beginning the process of overcoming your shame and moving beyond being a shamebased and “emotionally-stunted” person is to understand what shame is, where it comes from, and how it has affected and is currently affecting your life..."
Click Here9 Unique Ways To Beat Mental Health Problems
by Gwen Payne - August 2022
"If you’re struggling with mental health issues, you can improve them by changing your lifestyle. However, you must know that you’re not alone. In 2020, 26.3 million Americans used mental health services to boost their mental well-being..."
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Cycles of Living - From Abundance or Scarcity?
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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"Dr. Michael Obsatz uses the “Cycles of Living” model below to look at the characteristics of the life of a person living from “abundance” and another person living from “scarcity.”
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We Have Overcome This Day
by Dr. Michael Obsatz - October 2022
"We have all been wounded emotionally. Some of us have been abused physically or sexually. Others have been shamed. Some of us have endured beatings. Others have been harassed and verbally abused. Many of us have experienced losses of loved ones..."
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From Trauma, to Trust, to Triumph video
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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“A trauma is a damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event."
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The Foundations of Effective Anger Management
by David J. Decker
"Sometimes it seems like anger is all around us. We continually hear stories from the media about domestic abuse, road rage, gang violence, school shootings, and wars and genocide all over the globe. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is not so unusual in our society..."
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From Shallow to Hallowed: From Empire Consciousness to Oneness Consciousness
by Dr. Michael Obsatz -
July 2023
"Peter Mayer wrote "Everything is Holy Now," a beautiful spiritual reminder about how he learned to see the extraordinary in the ordinary.
It seems like we have a big choice to make: Do we live in the shallow end of life, or do we go deeper into the mystery of life with all of its beauties and complexities?..."
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Avoid Sickness in the Home With These Simple Steps
by Gwen Payne - September 2022
"There are many ways your home can make you sick without you even realizing it. From invisible mold spores to lead in your water... So how can you tell if your home is making you sick? And more importantly, what can you do about it?..."
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See You Later, Navigator
by Dr. Michael Obsatz - September 2022
"The world can be a challenging place to live. Jesus told us to be "IN the world, but not OF the world." To be not OF the world means that one does not live needing earthly approval, praise, or validation..."
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Trustworthy Long-Term Consistent Mentoring
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey have written a book about childhood trauma called "What Happened to You?" One of the problems with early childhood trauma is that it changes the victim's brain chemistry."
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Children in Trauma: Abandonment, Abuse, and Forced Conformity into a Dysfunctional World
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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"1. All children are born with parents who are imperfect, and who have had to cope with a world living out of scarcity, fear, and lovelessness..."
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Trust, Abuse, Disillusionment, Betrayal, Anger, and Forgiveness
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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"Can we forgive Hitler? Or Saddam Hussein? What about mass murderers like John William Gacy of Chicago who killed over thirty young men and boys and buried them in his basement? Why is it so hard to forgive?"
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Human Shadow Awareness Offers Healing
by Dr. Michael Obsatz and David Tillman
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"From before birth, and through our lives, our human shadow develops, grows, and influences our daily lives."
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The Not Always Gentle Protective Heart
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"Moore and Gillette describe four archetypes -- the lover, the warrior, the king/queen, and the magician."
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Self-Sabotage: Why Good People Hurt Themselves
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"What is self-sabotage? It is when people who seem to have everything going for them engage in some foolish behavior that either kills them, hurts them, or gets them into trouble..."
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Using Buddies: Overcoming Chemical Incest
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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"How did Robert Downey, Jr. become hooked on drugs? Some people wonder if his dad enticed him into drug use when he was very young. There are millions of young people whose parents use drugs, and want their kids to become “using buddies.”
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What Do You Mean I'm Being Controlling?
by David J. Decker
"Many people become confused and even quite upset if a partner or someone else in their lives accuses them of “being controlling” in their relationship together. And most people are all too quick to completely dismiss the notion that they are being controlling without really thinking about what the other
person..."
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Oneness Consciousness: Not Letting Our Emotional Wounds Define Us
by Dr. Michael Obsatz - May 2023
"We have all been wounded emotionally. Some of us have been hurt more than others. Emotional and physical abandonment cause wounds. We are wounded emotionally by our parents, caregivers, family members, friends, and strangers..."
Click HereThe Four Life-Affirming Declarations of Interdependence
by Dr. Michael Obsatz - February 2023
"The world can seem like a scary and hostile place sometimes. Life has many ups and downs, gains, and losses. We are inundated by messages of who we are supposed to be, and what we are supposed to do. These four life-affirming declarations allow us to know who we are and understand how much we are loved..."
Click HereSome Different Styles of Communicating with Other People
by David J. Decker
"Some cynical people make the assumption that the goal in learning to handle your anger more effectively is simply to “make you shut your mouth and turn you into a wimp.” In fact, nothing could be further from the truth..."
Click HereA World After: Exploring the Changes Brought on By COVID-19
By Gwen Payne - October 2022
"For many people, the pandemic has been a time of great upheaval, and while some changes have been blessings in disguise, others have proven difficult to manage. Here's a look at some of COVID-19’s impacts on employment, family dynamics, personal health, and more..."
Click HereSome Different Types of Intimacy in Partner Relationships
by David J. Decker
"There are a variety of ways that couples can be close in the context of a intimate relationship. No relationship has all of them. Look through the list below and pinpoint the types that exist in your relationship with your partner currently..."
Click HereThe Ultimate Shame-Buster: Overcoming Shame Through Spiritual Connection
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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“God Don’t Make No Junk”
Shame is pervasive in all cultures. Shame is a feeling of unworthiness, incompetence, and self-hatred.
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The Five Things We Cannot Change – Video
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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Dr Michael Obsatz talks about David Richo’s book, The Five Things We Cannot Change … and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. 1) Everything changes and ends, 2) Pain is a part of life,..."
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Paper on “Adult Children of Alcoholics”
by David Tillman
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"This is a recap, in outline form, of quotes and paraphrases from the book: Adult Children of Alcoholics."
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Recovery and Discovery
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
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"As a retired professor, therapist, and author, my life has been described by others as being very productive and meaningful over all. Many don’t know that there were times when I wondered if I would have the strength and courage to carry on."
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“The Wounded Healer” Book Review
by David Tillman
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"Here are some quotations from Nouwen’s “The Wounded Healer” that spoke to me."
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Loving, Creating and Letting Go
by Dr. Michael Obsatz
"David Richo, in his book, "The Five Things We Cannot Change," tells us that everything changes and ends. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross reminds us that every little loss we experience is preparation for our ultimate loss of leaving everything, of dying..."
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Healing from Life's Trauma and Setbacks
by David Tillman
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"Judith Herman, in Trauma and Recovery, writes about the three stages of recovery from trauma"
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Paper Written with Insights from “Aging” by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Paper written by David Tillman
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The book “Aging” by Henri J.M. Nouwen has expanded my formulation and understanding of my own aging process which reshapes my theology and practice of ministry.
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