Breaking the
Abandonment/Shame/Control/Destruction Cycle
By Dr. Michael Obsatz – September 2025
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We all know people who are controlling, who are obsessed with being and maintaining control at all costs. They include people from all cultures, races, religions, sexual orientations, genders, and classes.
When this issue becomes frightening is when those in important leadership roles try to destroy other beings and the earth through misuse of their power.
Abandonment — fear, scarcity thinking, feeling unloved, unlovable. Abandonment can be physical or emotional. Abandonment occurs in families, workplaces, peer groups. Being an outcast, being ignored, being neglected, and being abused are all part of abandonment.
Empire Consciousness always comes from being abandoned and leads to the abandonment of others. When one is abandoned, the person takes it personally, blames others and oneself, and is a major loss of safety. This results in trauma and fear.
Empire Consciousness is about domination, hierarchy, oppression, competition, scarcity and fear. It pervades many cultures and results in addictions, violence, wars, and destruction.
As people who have been abandoned as children grow up, they begin to shame and hate themselves. This shame and hatred are toxic and can be so painful and destructive that it must be projected onto others. Self-destruction can result in wanting to destroy others who appear threatening.
The shame and self-blame of abandonment can result in a toxic need to control others. So, many dictators might have experienced abandonment as children. The shame changes the brain chemistry and also limits those with it to develop any empathy or compassion for others. “I will never be destroyed again. I will destroy others first.” This can look like masochism becoming sadism. Self-hatred is projected onto others, and others must be controlled or destroyed.
Excessive need to be in control, control others (and possibly rule others) results in violence, rage, and warfare. All Empires come from the excessive need for control, shame, and abandonment.
The only intervention that can create world peace comes from the intervention of Oneness Consciousness. We are all one, we are loving, loved, and lovable. We are connected to Spirit, the Earth, and all of creation.
In order to heal abandonment, one needs to realize they were never spiritually abandoned, and that abandonment happened to them, but was never really about them. This dis-identification with worldly experience can break this harmful cycle of abandonment/shame/control/destruction. Excessive need to control intensifies the pain of perceived worldly abandonment.
Oneness Consciousness is about love, compassion, co-operation, empathy, justice, equality, belief in abundance, not scarcity. Laws and rules will not solve the problem of mass shootings, war, violence, oppression, and world-wide destruction. It is not an OUTSIDE job, but an INSIDE job. “I have never been spiritually abandoned, and the world’s definition of who I am is not about the REAL ME.
Weapons, wars, shootings, and all destruction exist because fear pervades the “survival of the fittest” belief system. Consciousness shifting is the only way to break through the deadly cycle of Abandonment/Shame/Control/Destruction.
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© 2025, Dr. Michael Obsatz, all rights reserved, www.lifesjourney.us
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