Eight Variations of Maleness: Beyond Macho Masculinity
By Dr. Michael Obsatz – February 2025
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“The masculine imperative, to prove manhood, supersedes the instinct to survive,” states Herb Goldberg in The New Male, written decades ago.
We have the typical idea of “real macho manhood”, and it is filled with a variety of rules. Here are just a few of them:
Be independent.
Don’t share feelings.
Win at all costs, dominate.
Be straight, strong, athletic.
Be an object rather than a person.
Don’t cry or show weakness.
Take control.
Kill the enemy.
Men who don’t fit into this model are often ridiculed, shamed, teased, bullied or ostracized.
Here are eight variations of maleness that don’t fit this narrow set of criteria. And there are probably more than eight.
- The intellectual male — who values ideas, learning, thinking, and solving problems through reasoning
. - The spiritual male — who lives life with compassion, and sees something greater, more mystical in everyday life situations
. - The empathetic male — who does value his own feelings as well as being in touch with the feelings of others. He is compassionate and helps others who need support
. - The creative/artistic male — who marches to his own drummer, isn’t afraid to try new ways, and frequently comes up with artistic creations
. - The introverted male — spends time alone, loves reading, daydreaming and gets inspired through going within
. - The socially connected male — who enjoys sharing, collaborating, and creating community
. - The healer male — who serves others by his expertise, being a teacher, doctor, nurse, therapist, minister, nurturer, etc.
. - The mechanical/technical male — good with computers, fixing things like plumbing or electronics
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Some men are combinations of these eight. If we could teach boys that ALL of these are real men, with dignity, energy and worth. Manhood and masculinity have a complex variety of modalities.
This does not relate to a man’s sexual orientation, class, race, or religious beliefs. Any man from any background can embody this complexity of ways of being a man. As a child of the Universe, a wholistic, authentic man can see his own beauty and lovability. Gender identity is more complicated than many believe.
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© 2025, Dr. Michael Obsatz, all rights reserved, www.lifesjourney.us
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